Life
by gotraina
Summary: Kendall's life has been harder since his father died. BTW it is OOC. I didn't want it to be like the show as much.
1. Chapter 1

**Life**

**Disclaimer: I only own Oscar and some of the other characters that I come up with in the future. Sooo, I don't own Big Time Rush…if you don't believe me oh well.**

**A/N: Okay so I had another story here but I hated it so I just made this one. I don't like it but it will stick. So be nice please..though I do like reviews. I couldn't think of a good title but whatever..I'll think of one soon.**

Kendall walked four miles to the middle school to pick up his little sister Katie. He knew she would be the last one there since the walk was long and he had to stay after school for work study. He raked his fingers through his hair and walked a little faster. He left school at 4:30 and Katie got out at 3:15. He knew that he was in big trouble with his step dad. He kept checking his watch because he didn't want to be as late as he already was. He regretted getting a ride from his mother, thinking he wasn't going to need his bus pass.

He sighed with relief when the middle school came into plain view. He walked up the four stairs to the entrance and walked in, looking around for his sister. He walked through the empty hallway to the office where he found Katie talking to one of her teachers.

"Well it's about time! I've been waiting for hours!" Katie yelled, waving her hands in the air.

"I'm sorry. I forgot my pass at home and—" He was cut off.

"I don't care. Just let's go home. I'm hungry and tired."

The teacher waved to Katie as she walked out the door with Kendall. They got home at a quarter to 8, only because Katie wanted to stop at the store for a snack when Kendall clearly said that there was dinner waiting at home. Of course Katie was being her stubborn self and talked him into bringing her to the store. Kendall knew he was going to get it when he got home.

As soon as the walked into the house the smell of tomato sauce and garlic bread hit them like a ton of bricks.

"Mmmm, spaghetti!"

Katie walked in and sat at the island in the kitchen. Their stepdad Oscar greeted her with a hug and a "how are you" and sat down.

She proceeded to tell him about her day while Kendall went to his room (which was the attic and consisted of a single mattress, a small desk and chair, and a dresser) putting his books down to start homework.

"And I waited at school for at least 5 hours after dismissal!" Katie lied. She just wanted to see her brother get in trouble. For some reason she enjoyed watching him get yelled at.

Oscar looked at her with one eyebrow up and asked "Really?"

She nodded and got up to go to her room.

Oscar left the kitchen and walked to the attic where his stepson was currently studying.

Kendall saw him and put his books down, trying to explain why he was late getting Katie and coming home but he wasn't hearing it. Instead Oscar pushed him to the floor and then proceeded to punch him everywhere. He stopped and pulled him up by the hair then threw him against the wall.

The next thing Kendall knew it was 3:30 in the morning and he was sprawled out on the attic floor. He slowly got up because he was in quite a lot of pain and felt the top of his head. It was bleeding a little and was tender to touch.

When he worked up the strength to get up, he made his way to the bathroom to wash off. He looked terrible. He had dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep, he had a split lip, a few cuts and bruises, and his hair was slightly red in color.

He took a clean white towel and washed his face. He didn't want to shower in fear of waking up his family. He finished up and put the towel in the dirty clothes. He didn't realize that doing that would get him into a load of shit.

Kendall woke up again, but this time to the smell of bacon, eggs, toast, and sausages that my mom was cooking. He got up, more sore than before. He went to the kitchen and peeked around the corner. There was my family, eating breakfast without me. But he was used to it since they do it all the time. Kendall usually just waited until they are finished then ate the scraps.

But by the looks of it, he wasn't getting anything for breakfast today. He sighed and went back up to his room.

After getting ready for school, he scrapped some change to get an apple for lunch. He heard Oscar call for him to hurry up. Kendall got up, swinging his book bag over his shoulder and climbed the ladder.

He saw Katie leaving with her friend Macy's mom, which meant that he didn't have to worry about getting her after school.

He made his way out of the house and down the road to get to the bus stop. His house was a little further away from the school than Katie's school so he took a bus everyday. He took out his notebook and began to write in it.

He kept it as a small diary, or journal as he preferred. When he realized he was at the school, he packed up and got off the bus to begin his miserable day.

Lunch rolled around and he got his apple. It was all he can get since that was all the money he had. He ate it while looking around at the groups. He longed to be friends with Logan, James, and Carlos again. He was a while ago, but when his dad died he got all depressed and quit talking to them. They took this personally and disowned him. Now he sits alone.

His dad died in a terrible accident one day. He was going to pick up Kendall from school but lost control of the car due to the pouring rain. Kendall remembered the funeral because that's all he chose to.

He really wished his dad didn't die because then Katie and their mom would treat him better and Oscar wouldn't be a part of their family. He hated that man because he took his anger out on him. Kendall doesn't know why but Oscar hated him.

He came back to and continued his apple still looking around and still wishing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: First Page.**

**A/N: Thank you for the story alerts and the review MissKrystal! I really appreciate it! Now once again I will say that I am not a good writer though I try. Thank you!**

The bell rang loudly throughout the cafeteria, causing everyone to jump up immediately. Kendall stayed put until everyone left the room so that he can leave and not hear what people were saying about him. After waiting another minute, he rose from his seat and left.

He walked into his calculus class and sat in his normal seat in the back. His teacher began talking about limits and he started to fall asleep. He jerked back up because he knew that if he were to fall asleep that would be the end of his life. So he stayed up. It was a struggle since he hasn't been sleeping well.

The bell finally rang and he jetted out the room because he had free period and that meant a much needed nap.

He got to the big oak tree in the yard and sat under it, falling asleep almost instantly.

He was on his way home at 4:30 after work study. He had to walk since he missed the bus. He was happy that he didn't have to pick up Katie because on the walks home she was just evil. Sometimes he wished that someone would offer him a ride home though. It was tiring to walk home from school everyday, especially since he had go to work and to do a crazy amount of chores that night when he got home. He worked at the movie theatre/mall were everyone hung out on the weekends. He worked every weekend.

This was also a problem. That meant that people were going to be there tonight. He sighed and got home to change before he left for work. He had to be there at 8 and it was 6:30 so he would be fine if he caught the 7:00 bus.

He walked into the house and smelled meatloaf. He used to love meatloaf. He actually still did, he just didn't get to eat any of the food that was made in this house. Oscar heard him come in and called him into the kitchen where the rest of the family was. He told Kendall to clean up the kitchen before he left. That meant mop the floors and wash the dirty dishes, and there was a fair amount of dirty dishes. Of course he made him do this.

Kendall sighed and began to complain but Oscar slapped in the face before he could.

"Clean the damn kitchen or get fucked up."

Kendall didn't want a beating so he obeyed Oscar. They left him at the house alone to go to Kendall and Katie's grandparents' house since they did that every other weekend. He wanted to go see them but he wasn't allowed to have much contact with the rest of his family.

Kendall sighed and began cleaning the kitchen. It was already 6:45. He didn't realize that he had been thinking for that long. He knew that he was going to miss the bus, especially since he still had to change and recover the bruising and tend to his cuts again.

It was 7:40 when he finished. It didn't take as long as he thought it would but he was hoping that it didn't take as long as it did.

He put everything away and headed up to the attic to get his uniform on and tend to his injuries. After doing that, he left the house and walked down the street before he was stopped by James' car.

James stopped and rolled down the window. His face was unreadable.

"Need a ride?" he asked.

Kendall raised an eyebrow "Sure. Is this a joke?"

James shook his head no and unlocked the door.

When Kendall went to grab the handle James pulled off with a scream. Kendall knew he shouldn't have believed him. He looked at his damn near broken phone for the time. It was 8:09. He gave a big sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. He was late and that was bad. Really bad.

**Thanks again. Sorry for the wait! I'm still trying to figure out how to write well like the rest of yall. I know it's short too. I'll try to make the next one longer but it's late. I'll start working on it though. Thanks again..please review! **** No flames please..they make me sad. Like I said I'm not a good writer.**

**-Raina**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: First Page.**

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate it! Sorry for taking too long. Thank you again!**

Kendall sighed, realizing that he didn't have a way to get to work and he was already late. He sat on the curb because there was no way he was going to walk to work. He looked up at the night sky wondering why he was given this life. What did he do to deserve it, because he sure as hell didn't know why. He started to sob, letting out all he had. He hadn't cried in so long and it felt good to just let it all out.

When he was done, he stood up in pain because he was still sore and headed home. He knew that tomorrow night he would get a talk from his boss, if he still had his job. He also knew that when his family came home he would be in some trouble because he was supposed to be a work. He didn't even get to use their money. That's one reason why he had a job.

Kendall finished the chores he had and went to get ready for bed. It was only 10:39 but he had nowhere to go. He went to the bathroom and took his shower in warm water, making sure he didn't hurt his wounds. After showering he headed up the ladder to the attic and hit the lone mattress. As soon as he fell, he was asleep.

Kendall jumped awake after feeling a sharp pain in his left arm.

"Get up you cockroach." It was Oscar who had hit him with a bat.

It wasn't even 12 yet when his stepdad came in and hit him. Kendall got up quickly and back into a corner.

In her room, Katie was falling asleep. She could hear the noise coming from up in the attic. She felt her stomach churn because she knew Oscar was beating Kendall, but she knew her brother was strong. She fell asleep, but not without thinking about her brother.

In the attic Kendall was on the ground clutching his left arm. His whole body hurt but he thinks Oscar really did some damage to his arm.

"You miss work and you left that bloody towel in the basket. Not only that, but you didn't do the rest of the laundry!"

"I'm so sorry, Oscar. I-"

"Who told you that you had the _privilege_ to call me Oscar?"

Kendall just sat there with his right arm shielding his body. He didn't say anything because he was stunned and in pain. Oscar left the attic and left Kendall to suffer. Kendall stood up and didn't go down the ladder until he thought the coast was clear.

He stepped down and looked around. He could here the snoring coming from his mother's room and sighed. Oscar was asleep. He went to the bathroom and looked at his arm. He knew it wasn't broken but it was hurt pretty badly. He wrapped it up in some gauze then used a sling that he kept and put his arm in it. He knew that even if he was hurt he still had to do the chores. He headed back up the ladder carefully because he had one arm. He reached the attic and went to his mattress. He was so tired but he couldn't go back to sleep. Part of him was afraid that Oscar was going to come back and the other part of him didn't want morning to come so quickly. But regardless of what he did it would, and he would have to face Oscar again.

He sighed and lied down, deciding that it was best if he got some sleep since he knew tomorrow was going to be a hard day. But isn't every day hard for Kendall?

The next day he woke up early. Not on purpose, but because it was like a routine. He went to the bathroom, changed the gauze and put on a decent pair of jeans and a gray tee shirt. He went downstairs and started to clean the kitchen because he knew that no matter how clean it was, Oscar would still find something that was out of place and yell at him for it. He was down there for about ten minutes when his mom came downstairs. Kendall took the coffee and poured her a cup. He gave it to her and watched her as she gave him a small smile that kinda said thank you. He nodded and continued to clean.

His mother looked at him with sad eyes. She knew her son was suffering and it hurt dearly to watch him get up every morning to do an enormous amount of work especially when he was in pain. She remembered how happy he was and how he always had this light in his eyes. It wasn't there anymore and he always seemed depressed. But she would be too if she lost her father, friends and the will to live. She sighed and stood up to go help Kendall. He looked at her and accepted the help. It was rare so he took it. But just when he and his mother were beginning to make the pancakes Oscar and Katie walked in. Kendall turned and saw the anger in Oscar's eyes and the sadness in Katie's.

Oscar didn't have to say anything to get his mom to stop helping. She knew that it meant another beating for her son. Kendall continued to make the breakfast that he would not be eating. It smelled so good and he was so hungry. He hasn't eaten since lunch yesterday and that was just an apple. He longed to join the family for meals and it hurt that he didn't have the privilege to do so.

He was done cooking the food and he served it to his family. He watched as the chatted about whatever was going on in their lives while he cleaned the mess he made. It was a little hard to clean since he could only use one arm. While in the kitchen listening, he heard that Katie made the honor roll again, that his mom got a promotion, and that Oscar planned for them to go on a vacation this Christmas, which was approaching fast. Kendall started to get excited but then didn't because he knew he wasn't allowed to go. But then he was a little happy because that meant he had the house to himself and he could eat and not suffer beatings for a few days. He smiled to himself as he thought about it.

"What are you smiling for, boy?" Oscar asked with attitude.

"Nothing sir." Kendall said, then when he turned around he smiled again.

That night came fast and he was headed to work. He hoped to God that he still had the job. He had never missed a day but he knew that hid boss didn't like him.

The bus pulled at a stop and Kendall got out and walked the rest of the way to the mall/theatre. He felt like hiding when he saw Logan in one of the stores but he didn't. Logan saw him and gave him a small wave. Kendall waved back with his good arm and kept going. When he reached the theatre he walked to the office where the manager was and clocked in. He saw his boss and wanted to hide. The boss saw him but let him go.

Kendall walked to the concession stand to begin his shift. The other employees didn't like him very much either. He tried to make friends but he couldn't since he knew that some of them knew he wasn't well liked at school.

He really hated the job because he had to be civil even if the people were cruel to him. He really hated his life too. No one treated him with respect and he was getting tired of it. Sometimes he wishes he could just end it but that is never an option.

He kept working until the shift ended at 1. He had to clean up so that's why his shift ended so late. He finished and left the theatre. He walked through the now empty mall and outside to the bus stop. When the bus came, he got on and sat down in the front. He didn't want to sit in the back because there were some weirdoes on at this time of night. He got home, climbed the attic quietly and went to sleep. He would do his other chores tomorrow.

**Sorry for being so long with updates. I get lazy and have to stop for periods of time so I can think. Thanks for the reviews and alerts! I'm still trying to get better at writing but thanks for putting up with it. Sorry for typos and grammar mistakes. Thanks again!**

**Raina**


	4. Chapter 4

Kendall woke up the next day and realized that his family was going out for breakfast so he didn't have to get up right away. He stayed put on the mattress and thought about what life used to be like before his dad died and before Oscar.

He remembered how his dad used to take the whole family to the park for a picnic lunch every Sunday. His dad would always play football with him and his mom would always make his favorite sandwich; peanut butter and banana. Katie was a lot nicer…but then again she was younger and looked up to her brother.

He also remembered the day his dad had died. He was 14 years old and he and his dad were on their way to his hockey tournament. He could never forget what they were talking about that day either. He remembered his dad telling him that the next day was he and his mother's anniversary and he told Kendall that they were going to go to their grandma's house and stay the night because he had a romantic night planned. Of course Kendall thought it was all mushy but was glad that his parents were so in love.

The light had just turned green. Kendall's father, Kevin had lightly stepped on the accelerator. Out of nowhere an SUV slammed into the passenger side were Kendall was seated and everything went black.

When Kendall came to, his dad was lying on top of him and he couldn't feel his leg. Kendall called his dad to see if he was awake. When he didn't hear anything coming from him after the third time, he assumed that he was just knocked out. But when Kendall looked to his left he saw that his father's upper body was nearly torn apart. The next thing Kendall knew, he was in the hospital.

Kendall still remembered that like it happened just a few minutes ago. He had tears threatening to fall, but didn't let them because he knew his dad died trying to save HIS life. He was thankful…but sometimes he wished it was him instead..or that maybe he didn't have to die the way he did.

Kendall got out of bed and decided to tidy up since it was twelve and his family and Oscar were coming back in a few.

**Sorry it was so short and sorry I haven't updated but I got stuck and then I got a job and had to work all the time. AND to top it all off I'm trying to get ready for school. Freshman in college whoop whoop! So I will try to update again soon..like soon because yall do not deserve to be left behind. I love yall for reviewing and the story alerts. Thank yall so much! And I promise to have a longer update soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Oh you guys I didn't mean to leave yall hanging! I started college and ive been soo so busy! I will try to update more often. **** once again im so sorry. And thank you for the great reviews! You are the best readers ever!**

Kendall went to clean the house, making sure he got the bedrooms because he remembered what happened last time. After cleaning the house, he heard the truck pulling into the driveway and knew they were home. He hurried to the bathroom to take a shower so that Oscar wouldn't have to yell at him about how he was still in his pjs and looked dirty.

A strong knock on the bathroom door cause Kendall to jump up in surprise.

"Hurry up boy your sister needs the bathroom."

Without thinking Kendall responded, "Well can't she use the other restrooms in the house?"

He flinched when he realized he just spoke back to his step-father.

"What did you say boy? Did you just snap at me?"

Kendall quickly dried off and got his jeans and white shirt on before answering, "No sir."

He heard the lock being tampered with before he saw his step-father appear in the doorway. Kendall looked up to see Oscar standing in front of him and before he can say anything he flew to the ground.

"I know you did not just lie to me boy." Then he hit him again.

Kendall couldn't feel the right side of his face for a second before the hot pain started to seep in. Oscar pulled Kendall up by the hair and dragged him to his bedroom and proceeded to beat him senseless.

Meanwhile Katie and her mother were downstairs trying to ignore the screams of pain coming from just above them.

"Katie honey why don't you go play with the next door neighbors. I'm sure they won't mind."

Without retaliating, she got up and left. She wanted to say something but she knows it wasn't her place.

Kendall's mother went upstairs when there was no sound. Carefully, she opened the door to see Kendall curled up in fetal position.

She wanted to comfort her son but knew her husband would give her hell about it so she left the room.

Later that day Kendall was lying in bed with his eyes swollen shut. He doesn't know how he will hide this at work or let alone at school on Monday. All he knew was that his body was in pain and he couldn't see well.

He got up and made his way out of his room for the first time since the family got home.

Going to work that night was funny. He caught three buses to get to the theatre, then when he got there his manager saw him and laughed at the fact that he was "squinting" when it wasn't even dark. Kendall couldn't tell him the real reason behind his facial expression so he just clocked in and went to man his half of the concession stand. Luckily people didn't ask questions but only because he had some make up around his eyes and they didn't care. Kendall kinda wanted them to ask so that _someone _would talk to him.

When his shift ended he was so tired. He stayed to clean up, hoping he would get paid overtime, and because he didn't want to go home because he knew that regardless of what time it was, he would get a beating.

When he finished cleaning up he headed to the bus stop. He waited there for a total of 45 minutes before a bus actually showed up.

Getting home was horrible. He was tired but he still needed to shower. He didn't like going to bed without feeling clean. He made sure to wash the small cuts that formed under his eyes so that maybe they would heal quicker.

After showering he went to bed.

The next day he went to the mall with his sister because their mom decided it was a good idea. Kendall was pleased to see that not only was he getting out of the house, but his eyes weren't that swollen anymore.

While at the mall, he ran into James who was in Victoria's Secret with Logan and Camille, Logan's girlfriend. They were both dragged against their will. Kendall laughed at the faces. The guys had no problem looking at the models on the walls but when it came to holding bras and panties for Camille, they were embarrassed.

Katie heard her brother laughing and smiled. She hadn't heard him laugh in a long time.

James saw Katie and gave her a small wave, then looked at Kendall and laughed out loud, calling Logan and Camille over, who had just checked out.

He starting saying all these things about his eyes and Katie can see how hurt he was. She wanted to yell at James so badly but decided against it. He wasn't worth it.

"Who beat your ass, Kendall? Oscar? Oh but I know he wouldn't. But then again I could see why he would want to!" he laughed out loud at his own pitiful joke.

Camille hit James across the arm and began to speak, "Shut it James. Kendall what are you doing here? You never come to the mall." She was the only one that was decent to her besides Logan.

"Uh, I came with Katie. Mom told us to leave the house for a bit."

Camille nodded smiled, "Well that's good. You do need to get out a bit more."

Logan meanwhile couldn't shake the feeling he got when he saw the wince Kendall gave when James said those cruel things. He knew some things were up after his dad died because Kendall completely changed. He wasn't the vivacious guy with so many friends he needed the whole world's fingers and toes to count with guy anymore. He was just a very hollow shell of his former self. It was like his soul was lost when his dad's was. Logan noticed the bruises, the cuts, the swollen lips. He even noticed the eyes the night before when he went to the movies. Something wasn't right and he wanted to help Kendall. Just because he didn't hang out with him anymore doesn't mean that he didn't still consider him a friend. He could sometimes see the pain Kendall felt, he even could see it in Kaite's eyes. It was hard to watch this happen but he didn't know for sure what was going on with Kendall so he had to sit and wait. Hopefully he would say something before it was too late.

While Logan was thinking, Kendall and Katie had left, leaving the three of them standing there.

"He's so weird. I can't believe we were friends with him at one point. He's changed so much. I guess he thinks he's better than us or something." James said with an attitude.

"James shut it. Maybe he's still taking it pretty hard since his dad died." Yelled Camille, who had been fed up with James for a while.

"It has been two freaking years! He has to have been over it by now! Damn it!"

Camille and Logan looked at James like he was growing mold in his nose. "Honestly man how would you feel if your dad had died the way his did? I would be crushed for the longest. You know he and his dad were like best friends." Logan said.

"You are ALWAYS defending him! It's like every time I say something about him you go ape shit and decide you will be his bitch! Get over yourselves, both of you! Hey! Why don't you just hang out with him? Good idea eh?"

Logan just ignored James. He knew that if he said something then James would get even angrier and he really didn't feel like losing another friend. Camille also had decided to just walk away. She didn't feel like being bothered with James's pussy antics anyway.

They headed out of the mall and went their separate ways.

As soon as the siblings got home, they went to their respective rooms.

**A/N: this was a sucky chapter. I tried tho. I promise to make better ones. **


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